Farewell to the District (Part II: Living My Values)

Now my time in DC comes to an end.  I have set my sights on a new challenge – an adventure in a new country.  But before I go learn more about the world, it is necessary to return to the place where first I learned about the ways of life - back to the gentle hills of my childhood in central Texas.  It is only in this a serene and special environment that I can fully reset my mind and lay the foundation for the next phase of my life.  

I have given this decision much deliberation and decided it is something I need to do.  I believe it is more than a mere geographic change; it is a watershed moment that will mold my future.  This decision is a sign that I have the ability to choose exploration over routine, learning over complacency, new experiences over financial security. 

 

But one choice does not reflect habit.  In order to fully solidify my values and beliefs, I must integrate these ideals into my daily life.  And I believe this is achieved through self-reflection and the quest to continue learning (the theme of this blog).  

Along these lines, I am excited to share some of the things I have learned during my time in DC.  While I have learned much, three truths stand out. 

The first: Relationships are the most important thing in life.  As discussed in David Brooks “The Social Animal,” we are a species that survive from human interaction.  But relationships serve much more than a utilitarian function; they are where we learn most.  Much like humans, relationships grow and change too.  Each day they are tested, and to survive, they require energy and commitment.  The tiring grind of work.  The finite time in each day.  The easy answer of “I’ll call him later.”  All of these realities and numerous others will challenge us to live by this truth.  But I have taken the first step- I have recognized the validity of this belief.  Now I must learn to live by it.

The second: Happiness is not a state of being, it’s a lifestyle.  This lifestyle is founded upon the choices we make.  Each day we face hundreds of choices and our contentment lies in the outcome.  It’s counterintuitive how we often pick the less desirable option for the sake of assumed security, politeness, expectations, etc.  Moreover, we get unhappy by the result of these choices.  I believe effective decision making comes from the relationship between the gut, the head, and the heart.  A harmony between these forces will enable us to be at peace will our decisions and live a life of happiness. 

      

The third: Actions define us.  The simple fact is we are known by what we do; it’s not real until you act on it.  The thoughts that run through our head are as tangible as the stories in our dreams.  The reciprocal truth to this is that our actions have consequences – consequences that we must live by.  In the end, we depart with the peace in our heart and this has led me to face the question – how do I want to live my life?       

I have a vision for how I want to live my life.  This vision encompasses my faith, habits, career, beliefs, education and all the factors that comprise an individual.  To achieve this vision, I have set goals.  But for too long I have not realized these goals.  And now, I have resolved  that I must dedicate the time needed to make these permanent.  The overriding goal of my upcoming journey is to make these values a part of me.  It will be a time to confront the bad habits that live in my consciousness and understand demons that lurk in my subconscious.  It will be a renaissance that builds off the first 25 years of my life and sets the stage for the next 25 years.  

At the heart of this spiritual pilgrimage is the effort to crystallize my values, so I ultimately have the clarity and courage to fuse them with my professional life.  We have all heard of the infamous “mid-life crisis.”  For many people, this is largely career driven, and the result is erratic and sometimes harmful behavior.  The mid-life crisis has always seemed easily avoidable to me.  The antidote is deep self-introspection that is too often overlooked in the 20’s decade.  

I am heading off this “crisis.”  I am taking anticipatory and proactive action.  Call it “quarter-life curiosity.”  The only way to fill this curiosity is devoting time to focus on my goals.  That is why I choose this journey.  This path is not possible for everyone: some people have pressing responsibilities, some do not have the means, and some do not have the will or desire.  I have been very fortunate, blessed and lucky in life, and I also have a rock solid support system of family and friends.  It is these things that have enabled me to pursue this habit-building voyage.

So now I move forward, without fear and emboldened by change - the change that will build the foundation I need to make my mark in this life. 

Farewell to the District (Part I: My Professional Path)

It is with poignant sadness and great expectations that I am ending my residency in Washington, D.C.  I have always believed that the decade of 20-30 is one of the most unique, exciting, and growth-filled periods in an individual’s life.  For me, the 2.5 years spent in the District will be a pillar of my 20’s.  
  
I took a chance on coming to DC.  I was living in Atlanta following my college graduation, and my internship was coming to a close.  The historic 2008 presidential election had just concluded, and it seemed like all democratic politicos and most of Generation Y were in a state of euphoria.  I had dabbled in politics, but the decision to move to DC was a confluence of events: my internship concluding, my cousin offering me a rent-free room, the reassurance that someone can make a living (not much of one) working in government, and most importantly, my genuine interest in working on Capitol Hill.  

I left Atlanta with a healthy confidence and fortunate naiveté to the ways of Washington. After a peaceful seven hour drive, I arrived in Fairfax, Virginia to 15 degree weather and the rent-free guest room that my extremely generous cousin and his wife had offered me.  This set-up allowed me to dedicate my full time to getting a job on the Hill, and to this day I consider it the single greatest factor to my success in D.C.   

My first introduction to the District was the Inauguration of President Barack Obama.  I joined nearly two million people on a frigid day in January on the National Mall (not being used to this weather, I had on three layers of clothing including running tights and two pairs of socks).  It was a historic moment for our country, and it was truly unforgettable for me.   

Such promise was followed by slow frustration.  I spent the first two months job hunting for various Hill jobs/internships that were posted online.  I had come to learn that these low level government jobs were highly coveted, and, after about 50 online applications and not a single solid lead, I was getting concerned.  I took my concerns and disappointment to my sagely and patient mother, and she gave me a little positive tough love.  “You have got to go there.  Physically walk in those offices and make face-to-face contact.” 

When my mother gives me good advice, I make it a point to listen.  I created a spreadsheet of the open positions and started to ‘pound the pavement.’  I mapped out the physical office locations, and would spend a couple hours a day delivering an application packet which included a hand written cover note, a customized cover letter, my resume, and my references.  On my third trip I got a bite.  It was an interview for an internship, specifically a non-paid internship, with a liberal Congressman from Florida.

I knew I would face some adversity and challenges in this environment, so I took the internship started at the bottom (I really had no other options).  My days began at 6:30am when I would wake up and drive the nearest Metro station in Fairfax (at the very end of the orange line).  I would pay $5 to park and would buy a $5 Metro pass for the ride in.  The Metro commute was roughly one hour.  I would arrive at work around 8am (always trying to get there first) and work till about 6pm.  After work I would do the same routine and hopefully be eating dinner around 7:30pm (often time my cousin’s kind-hearted wife would feed me- another act of generosity in which I am forever indebted to them).

I found solace in this tiring and costly experience because I was enjoying the internship (pushing myself into as many projects as possible), and I had high hopes for a paid job on the horizon (yes, the thought of a paltry 28K salary seemed like a bona fide lottery at that point).  

After grinding it out for 2.5 months at this internship, I was…exactly where I had started- or so it seemed.  I had no real job leads, I was already living off credit card debt, and my hope of working on the Hill was slowly fading.  Something had to change, so I took another non-paid internship in the Senate.  This was a communications specific internship in a well-known senator’s office.  It was very monotonous, and after another three months (nearly seven months total) and only two interviews, I had arrived at the crossroads of my discontent.  

I had hoped to be living in DC by June and it was early August.  I was burrowing deeper and deeper into debt, and I really couldn’t even stomach the idea of another internship.  This discontent met my sometimes unfortunate personality trait of impulsiveness, and I made a rather hasty decision.  I gave up the free room at my cousin’s apartment and signed a year lease in DC with nearly $1000 monthly rent.  I justified it by saying I would utilize this financial urgency and decreased commute time to help me get a job, but the fact was I had committed to an expensive lease and had no way to pay for it.  

At this point the great external force of luck intervened (maybe it was Karma recognizing my suffering), and I was offered a job sorting mail in the senator’s office that I was interning in.  I did this for a month and my luck continued when I was offered a job doing communications for another Senator.  I had come to the Hill to do communications and somehow I had reached my goal.  I was able to pay my rent and even had a little money left over to experience the endless activities in DC.  The job was a great learning experience, and I ended up staying in this job for my remainder of my time in DC.    

The Sad and Expected Rise of Reality TV

After watching a preview for “Toddlers and Tiaras,” I decided I could no longer hold my tongue.  It was time to examine the scourge of modern entertainment- the dreaded reality TV show.

After viewing the preview for the aforementioned show, one would be hard pressed to argue against the truth that this genre will stop at nothing to gain an audience.  But the actual reality is that these shows are destined to garner attention.  The foundation of this show is built on an undeniable principle that has captivated humans from the dawn of time: the awe factor.  Let’s face it, we are all drawn to the amazement allure or what I like to call “the curiosity gene.”  Consider our ancient ancestors: the hunter gathers.  Curiosity drove them to make new discoveries that helped them sustain life.  This evolutionary drive to discover is deeply embedded in our genes, and to this day we still strive to see things that deviate from the normalcy of our lives - the 15 car pileup, the man who walks a tight wire across skyscrapers, the billionaire playboy with five jets, the significant others diary, etc.      

Reality TV has taken this universal truth and turned it into a low-grade art form.  “He’s not really going to do that?” and “she cannot be serious” are common exclamations that ring out in front TV’s across the country when shows like “Fear Factor” and Real Housewives of (insert city name here) are aired.  Surely, I am not the first to question how these shows came to be, but the sad truth is that their existence is an inevitable progression in modern entertainment. 

What paved the way for this low-quality genre?  The answer is the surrounding climate.  This ability to police obscene content was effectively ended with the advent of cable TV.  And if cable TV is the father of entertainment obscenity, the Internet is the unstoppable and more powerful offspring.  With two clicks of a mouse, any person with internet access can be directed to the most conceivably obscene site on the web.  Consider that in 2006, 13 percent of website visits in America were pornographic in nature, according to Hitwise, a market-research firm (LINK). 

With this seemingly endless supply of shock/taboo content, network TV (the birthplace of reality TV) faced a crossroads.  They were in between the rock of internet freedom (and growing accessibility) and the hard place of unregulated cable TV.  How could they compete with the gratuitous violence of HBO or the explicit sexual content of internet porn?  They needed to regain the awe factor.  They needed something that would drive people back to watching the commercials that funded these networks.  And thus, reality TV was born. 

Working within the confines of the FCC’s obscenity regulations, the networks devised a concept that would have people gossiping for hours at the water cooler.  A show, with "real" people, that fulfills the insatiable curiosity gene.  Show five people on a remote island participating in unusual tasks, so they can gain food, so they won’t starve, so they can stay on the island, so they can ultimately win a cash prize.  Makes sense, right?  Repeat this ritual for 12 weeks and you’ve got a ratings winner.  

Do all of these shows succeed?  No, there is definitely a formula for success.  You can’t stray too far away from the anchor of believability and the theme of the show must have lasting appeal and dynamic developments.  But beyond this, the world is reality TV’s oyster.  Low production costs, non-paid contestants, and quick and easy filming fueled the demand for these programs.  At one point, it seemed like there was a new reality show every week on some esoteric topic. 

Like our ancestors who gathered to watch public hangings, Americans gather around our modern day town square and cringe as people consume pig testicles.  The scary truth?  This is not a fad.  It is here to stay.  The sad truth?  The profit driven networks will stop at nothing to put on a show that will get everyone talking.  These shows have sucked up the air for the great, artistic TV shows of past that took on thoughtful, moral, contemporary issues that we all face.  Toddlers and Tiaras is not the nadir of this genre; sadly, I don’t know what it will be.  Could we push the limits so far that we actually watch people endure great pain or even watch people die?  Could we be arriving full circle back to the gladiator days that enthralled ancient Rome?  I know the blatant child exploitation in Toddlers and Tiaras rubs me the wrong way, and, as this genre continues to emerge, I hope we can draw a clear line between entertainment and public abuse/suffering/humiliation…I hope.